Individual, Marriage and Family Therapy for a Happier, More Satisfying Life
You do not have to remain entangled in the same old arguments over finances, responsibilities and loyalty. There is a way to stop the repetition and to resolve the issues. I can help. Together we will develop a plan and set in motion specific steps to address your concerns.
While many people long for a relationship and connections to others, few realize how difficult it can be to find and maintain a loving, bonded relationship. The vast majority of men and women experience frustration and distress. They repeat the patterns that bring them into unfulfilling relationships with those who are wrong for them, even though they may feel right. Through individual therapy and relationship counseling, I can help you learn how these very patterns interfere with your finding someone who can work with you to form a loving, nurturing relationship.
How Did This Begin?
Look back on the parenting style which guided your upbringing. Were your parents supportive, nurturing and providing of an emotionally stable environment? Was conflict and upheaval synonomous with your surname? Was abuse-physical, emotional or sexual-part of your childhood or adolescent landscape? Your answers to these questions and their emotional fallout have had a profound effect on you, your emotional resilience and the personality type you seek out as a partner or spouse.
Your choice of a mate is rooted in these earliest bonding experiences or lack thereof. As a result, if these attractions are based on compromised bonding, you constantly will be drawn to those who cannot bond or connect. The ensuing difficulties with intimacy are expressed in a variety of ways. If you make the same mistakes over and over again with your spouse or your children, your co-workers or your friends, you may be emotionally stuck in a cycle of repetition due to these early feelings and experiences.
There is no parent who can meet all of the emotional needs of a child; all parents are less than perfect. Thus, it is highly probable that you have been exposed to feelings and patterns of behavior that have compromised your ability to be emotionally intimate. Despite the best intentions of your parents, these earliest experiences prompt you to gravitate toward what is emotionally familiar. Do you find yourself disregarding or minimizing the warning signs? Do you push away from what is best for you, rather than pursue it? The resulting difficulties with intimacy are expressed in a variety of ways.
Within the therapeutic relationship, your difficulties and challenges become apparent and can be resolved. The primary focus of my work is to help you discover your strengths and learn how to solve your own problems. This is achieved through emotional relearning and the establishment of new ways of thinking, feeling and behaving. Setting goals based on these strengths will help you to make permanent the changes you want in your life, to eliminate the old patterns of behavior, and to feel more optimistic about the future and more successful in your life.
I am particularly effective helping people to resolve their resistances to bonded, nurturing, adult relationships and to navigate through critical transitions, trauma and abuse in their lives. I am successful working with the stresses experienced in the corporate, medical, health, and academic sectors, as well as their impact on ones physical, emotional, and interpersonal well-being.
Marriage Counseling/Couples Therapy
My work with couples unfolds in an atmosphere free of blame and finger-pointing. An important priority of this process is to dissipate resentment, which only compromises the resolution of differences between partners and spouses. My goal is to know each person better, to understand what difficulties and distortions are brought into the relationship, and to facilitate emotional relearning and behavioral change.
Family therapy is designed to help you to relearn, not to repeat, patterns of behavior. You will learn how to communicate more effectively within the family unit, how to provide emotional support and respect within it, and how to create an environment which nurtures the success of all.
Parenting challenges the individual as well as the couple in very significant ways. Parents learn their parenting skills from their families of origin and repeat those patterns, regardless of how effective they are. However, it is in the relearning, not the repeating, that parents and children can progress. Treatment focuses on putting parents back in control with new resources and confidence.
I offer phone sessions for those who are unable to come into the office.
Maryann B. Schaefer Ph.D. (Couseling) FAPA
Five Travers St
Manhasset, NY 11030
To schedule an appointment or to inquire about my services, please fill out the fields below and I'll get in touch with you as soon as possible. Thank You.